I'm starting to get frustrated at little things. The past two weeks, I've been trying to stay connected with my work in Belfast making sure that everything moves forward and is taken care of while I am away. But the fact is that I am away so there are decisions being made that I'm not there for. It's frustrating and yesterday I found myself getting frustrated at a coworker for not consulting me on something. Later after thinking about it, I realised it wasn't that big of deal and actually it's a brilliant thing to be doing. I just hate not knowing what's going on and hearing about it afterwards. She so honourably acknowledged how hard it must be being away and not being able to input into things. It was such a relief having somebody acknowledge what was going on inside of me.
Then I snapped at my dad who was trying to connect me with people here for lunch or a meeting. I have been trying to connect with loads of people having fundraising meetings, but I was just feeling tired. I know I don't have enough time to fully do the support raising process and that kills me too. So this internal frustration started bubbling out.
Why can't I be in two places at once? Why can't more things be done via facetime or emails? I live so much of my life via wifi... why can't others see the goodness of skype?
This often happens my last few days at home. I feel the pinch. The pinch between staying and going. Caught in the middle trying to do fundraising and YI work at the same time while spending time with family and friends. Caught in the middle between Iowa and Ireland.
This is my life all the time... caught in the middle between two things where neither one is fully home anymore. Some how I need to learn how to live in the middle experiencing freedom rather than a pinching trap. For it is in God's grace that I live in the middle- maybe more like a venn diagram rather than a pinching trap forcing me to choose one or the other.
The reality is I choose both! I can't have one with out the other. My heart is in both and both are home (with a bit in Minneapolis, Detroit, Sierra Leone, and my Aunt Jen's house too). I live the life of an expat- someone who lives out of their country of origin. I join a multitude of expats within our generation who just aren't quite sure where home is anymore.
So sometimes I get frustrated and vent to my best friends voicemail. My heart is hurting and I am trying to be peaceful enjoying my last bit of time at home with my family while rushing around finishing up things. There are so many things that I want to do while home in the States and I am learning to be ok with the little that I do do. As well as recognise how incredible my family is driving me around the country visiting friends, making my favourite food, and letting me beat them in cards! ;) God is good and I am blessed that He has called me to this way of life. Yes it's hard and challenging, but I couldn't imagine it any other way.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
"I liked your talk..."
This weekend at spoke at Holy Family Parish where I grew up attending Mass and church functions with my family. I only had 5 or so minutes to share about the work I was doing in Belfast, Northern Ireland with Youth Initiatives and to invite people to join my support team. There are so many stories of my work and of the history of Belfast that I could have shared that I barely new where to begin.
I knew I needed a hook- something they would remember more than just "Sarah's continuing to do mission work." When I got up to speak, I asked my dad to walk in with a mirror covered with smeared dry soap. I began my talk with "sometimes it's hard to see ourselves clearly..." I shared about situations in my life and the lives of young people that I work with making it hard to see themselves clearly- never feeling good enough, sin, lack of education, never being told I love you just to name a few. I continued sharing that I too haven't always been able to see myself clearly, but through attending this parish and encountering God's light, love, and truth I began to see who God truly created me to be- His Beloved.
I continued to share for a couple of minute about the missionary work I do with middle and high school youth who can't see themselves clearly through our school, parish, and youth programmes sharing a story about a girl named Katie who I have journeyed alongside this past year speaking the light and love of Christ into her life. In all the mission work I've done, I can't do it alone. I need the prayers, support, and encouragement of so many. I'm so blessed to have grown up in a parish that has supported my missions work so generously and faithfully. I ended my sharing asking people to continue to support financially either through one time donation or on a monthly basis.
After Mass, I stood in the back handing out support forms and shaking hands of encouraging parishioners. My favourite person that I talked to today was a little girl named Norah. Doughnut in hand, she stopped by me and said "I liked your talk." She was 10 years old, and I was intrigued by what she liked about it so I asked her "what did you like about my talk?" as we sat down so she could eat her doughnut. "I liked the mirror part. How your sins are still there even when you can't see them." I was shocked by how much she picked up from what I wasn't saying as much as she was about what I was saying. Afraid that she might think that are sins stick with us forever I asked her what she thought it meant when the mirror was being wiped off. "It's like when Jesus takes your sins away."
Exactly! We can't see ourselves clearly until Jesus takes our sins away. Then we can see ourselves perfectly as Christ as created us to be. To see ourselves clearly as He sees us clearly.
I was amazed and in awe of this little girl, and how deep her understanding of faith was. It reminded me of how we are called to have faith as a child. I was honored to be able to sit down with her as I met her two younger brothers Finn and Sullivan and her Mom and Dad. I was able to share briefly about Ireland and they were able to ask questions. I asked Norah to pray for me after giving her one of my prayer book marks, and I know she will.
I thank God for children like Norah. I pray that their family decides to support me this year. I need faithful people like Norah and her family who pray with childlike faith completely dependent on God. I'm excited to continue coming back each year and build on this relationship with their family. This is what it means to have a support team back home in Iowa. People who will keep me accountable and support me- yes with their finances but also with their prayers, love, and encouragement.
To see more about the missionary work I am doing in Belfast or to see how you can become a supporter- check out this website!
I knew I needed a hook- something they would remember more than just "Sarah's continuing to do mission work." When I got up to speak, I asked my dad to walk in with a mirror covered with smeared dry soap. I began my talk with "sometimes it's hard to see ourselves clearly..." I shared about situations in my life and the lives of young people that I work with making it hard to see themselves clearly- never feeling good enough, sin, lack of education, never being told I love you just to name a few. I continued sharing that I too haven't always been able to see myself clearly, but through attending this parish and encountering God's light, love, and truth I began to see who God truly created me to be- His Beloved.
I continued to share for a couple of minute about the missionary work I do with middle and high school youth who can't see themselves clearly through our school, parish, and youth programmes sharing a story about a girl named Katie who I have journeyed alongside this past year speaking the light and love of Christ into her life. In all the mission work I've done, I can't do it alone. I need the prayers, support, and encouragement of so many. I'm so blessed to have grown up in a parish that has supported my missions work so generously and faithfully. I ended my sharing asking people to continue to support financially either through one time donation or on a monthly basis.
After Mass, I stood in the back handing out support forms and shaking hands of encouraging parishioners. My favourite person that I talked to today was a little girl named Norah. Doughnut in hand, she stopped by me and said "I liked your talk." She was 10 years old, and I was intrigued by what she liked about it so I asked her "what did you like about my talk?" as we sat down so she could eat her doughnut. "I liked the mirror part. How your sins are still there even when you can't see them." I was shocked by how much she picked up from what I wasn't saying as much as she was about what I was saying. Afraid that she might think that are sins stick with us forever I asked her what she thought it meant when the mirror was being wiped off. "It's like when Jesus takes your sins away."
Exactly! We can't see ourselves clearly until Jesus takes our sins away. Then we can see ourselves perfectly as Christ as created us to be. To see ourselves clearly as He sees us clearly.
I was amazed and in awe of this little girl, and how deep her understanding of faith was. It reminded me of how we are called to have faith as a child. I was honored to be able to sit down with her as I met her two younger brothers Finn and Sullivan and her Mom and Dad. I was able to share briefly about Ireland and they were able to ask questions. I asked Norah to pray for me after giving her one of my prayer book marks, and I know she will.
I thank God for children like Norah. I pray that their family decides to support me this year. I need faithful people like Norah and her family who pray with childlike faith completely dependent on God. I'm excited to continue coming back each year and build on this relationship with their family. This is what it means to have a support team back home in Iowa. People who will keep me accountable and support me- yes with their finances but also with their prayers, love, and encouragement.
To see more about the missionary work I am doing in Belfast or to see how you can become a supporter- check out this website!
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Working from Home
I don't know why, but I absolutely love being able to work from home. Like I really really love it. I love the creative flow that comes from sitting on my couch and typing away. I love being able to spread out around the house and walk around bare foot... wait I do that in work too... I love how I can get so much done in two hours without any interruptions. I like walking to the fridge to get a snack out without wondering who it might belong too.
Sometimes in Belfast I can work from home for a couple of hours before going to lead a session at St. Colm's high school. The school is a ten minute walk away, so why walk 20 minutes up to YI and then 30 minutes back to St. Colms in order to walk (by now I would get a taxi) 30 minutes back up. Sometimes working from home is a time saver!
This week, I've been reminded of the joys of working from home. After praying and seeking wisdom from Belfast peeps, I decided that I am going to stay in the States for two extra weeks. I was feeling incredibly anxious and overwhelmed by the amount of work and fundraising I needed to do while at the same time getting a break and spending time with my family. God in His goodness opened up doors for me to be able to stay until the end of September. I am able to get both a taste of summer and autumn in one visit as well as work on fundraising and spend extra time with family. Beyond excited!
But I'm not just on holiday chilling out in the States for 4.5 weeks. I'm literally working from home and I love it! I have "work days" and "vacay days." Even though I am thousands of miles away from Belfast, I can sit on my computer for a couple of hours in the morning emailing and meeting with people in YI. It's amazing! Then in the evenings, I can meet with prospective supporters sharing the vision of what I am doing in Belfast and inviting them to be apart of my support team.
What I love best is that I'm at home, so I can take a break step outside in the sun. Have an afternoon nap. Read three books at once and know that I will finish them all. Drink coffee and eat buns while chatting with my mom. It is so restorative yet I can get the things I need to get done done.
In the midst of all of this, I am reading the book "Boundaries." What a better way to practice boundaries then when I am working thousands of miles away and I sometimes just have to shut down the computer and say "done." This is something I am so bad at doing yet feel like I have the grace to start practicing now. Order- it's a good thing especially when you can practice it in a controlled environment. Like I said, I LOVE working from home!
You may be wondering why don't I just stay. The thing is, I can't. As much as I love being at home in the States, I know Belfast is where I am meant to be. I can't just work from behind a computer or sit in my house hanging with my fam. For now it's a season, a season in which I am incredibly grateful for but a season none the less. In this season of "Working from Home," I'll enjoy my afternoon naps, walks around town, movies with my mom, meetings with locals and be restored by it all. For when I get back to Belfast, I want to hit the ground running for that's where God has placed my mission and I can't wait to get back to my other home up at YI in the heart of Poleglass.
Sometimes in Belfast I can work from home for a couple of hours before going to lead a session at St. Colm's high school. The school is a ten minute walk away, so why walk 20 minutes up to YI and then 30 minutes back to St. Colms in order to walk (by now I would get a taxi) 30 minutes back up. Sometimes working from home is a time saver!
This week, I've been reminded of the joys of working from home. After praying and seeking wisdom from Belfast peeps, I decided that I am going to stay in the States for two extra weeks. I was feeling incredibly anxious and overwhelmed by the amount of work and fundraising I needed to do while at the same time getting a break and spending time with my family. God in His goodness opened up doors for me to be able to stay until the end of September. I am able to get both a taste of summer and autumn in one visit as well as work on fundraising and spend extra time with family. Beyond excited!
But I'm not just on holiday chilling out in the States for 4.5 weeks. I'm literally working from home and I love it! I have "work days" and "vacay days." Even though I am thousands of miles away from Belfast, I can sit on my computer for a couple of hours in the morning emailing and meeting with people in YI. It's amazing! Then in the evenings, I can meet with prospective supporters sharing the vision of what I am doing in Belfast and inviting them to be apart of my support team.
What I love best is that I'm at home, so I can take a break step outside in the sun. Have an afternoon nap. Read three books at once and know that I will finish them all. Drink coffee and eat buns while chatting with my mom. It is so restorative yet I can get the things I need to get done done.
In the midst of all of this, I am reading the book "Boundaries." What a better way to practice boundaries then when I am working thousands of miles away and I sometimes just have to shut down the computer and say "done." This is something I am so bad at doing yet feel like I have the grace to start practicing now. Order- it's a good thing especially when you can practice it in a controlled environment. Like I said, I LOVE working from home!
You may be wondering why don't I just stay. The thing is, I can't. As much as I love being at home in the States, I know Belfast is where I am meant to be. I can't just work from behind a computer or sit in my house hanging with my fam. For now it's a season, a season in which I am incredibly grateful for but a season none the less. In this season of "Working from Home," I'll enjoy my afternoon naps, walks around town, movies with my mom, meetings with locals and be restored by it all. For when I get back to Belfast, I want to hit the ground running for that's where God has placed my mission and I can't wait to get back to my other home up at YI in the heart of Poleglass.
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