Is this really worth it? Can I actually live life on the other side of the world from my family? How do my other missionary friends do it? Yes loads of people live far away from their families, maybe I just can't.
And then after a few days I calm down again and continue living my life here in Belfast.
Last month, I was faced with these questions again after finding out a good friend of mine, Joe, wasn't going to be recovering from his cancer and on my mom was going to need "minor" heart surgery. I hated that I couldn't be with my family or help around the house. I wanted to be with my friends as they were grieving over the news of Joe or laughing telling stories. I began questioning my life in Ireland and if I could actually imagine myself living outside of the States long term.
I began comparing myself to friends who I also knew moved from the States to Belfast. "Marrying a guy would make things easier," I thought. But would it? Would that be enough for me to stay in Belfast? I love my job in Youth Initiatives, but would that be reason enough to stay? What about my friends? I have incredible life giving friendships here in Ireland, but I wasn't sure if they would be enough to stay for either. As these thoughts filled my mind and I was unsure if any of these things would be enough to stay, then the words of a song I used to listen to in Detroit came to mind, "God is enough enough."
All the other thoughts fell away as a smile came across my face and I sang to the upbeat song "God is enough enough." I was right. All those other things aren't enough for me to stay in Belfast. Nothing except God is enough for me.
Recently I've been listening to Hillsongs song Christ is Enough, and often I think the line "God is enough" is really cheesy, but when all else seems to be failing Christ is truly enough for me. I will go anywhere and do anything knowing the truth that Christ is enough for me and even more that He says I am enough for him.
May I continue clinging to Christ through every storm and continually give my life to Him who gave me everything. "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back." Christ IS enough for me!
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