Today, I was driving down Second Street, and I fell in love again. I was struck by the people walking on the streets bustling about here and there. I was struck by the abandon buildings on one side of the street and the beautiful murals and graffiti on the other side of the street. I drove down Willis past Avalon International Bakery that was packed like usual to find a parking place. I got out of my car, looked around, and was struck by the love I have for this city. This city that is so broken, bruised, hurt, raw, and real.
Everything in this city is so real that is almost hurts... it does hurt. In C.S. Lewis' book, The Great Divorce, a man takes a bus that leads to heaven. Everything is so REAL there that the blades of grass hurt his feet. Eventually though, he is able to walk further and further into heaven that his feet become stronger and he like busts out of his old self (I think that's how it goes. It has been a while since I have read the book. I know the blades of grass hurt his feet though). Could you imagine that? Could you imagine having blades of grass hurt your feet... because it is so real?
I don't think we live in a world of reality anymore. I don't think we even know what is real and what is imaginary anymore. We spend so much time creating our own worlds that we cannot even see the reality of the world in which we live in. There is a world out there that is real- it is beautiful, majestic, awesome, broken, frail, wet, dry, hard, soft, filled with tears, joys, dreams, people, plants, buildings, animals, air, grass, roses, rocks. At the Detroit Institute of Art there is a piece of art which is really hard to understand. It's just massive rocks simply placed upon the floor. The artist challenges the viewers to take a moment to notice the shape, color, structure, simplicity, massiveness, and beauty of these rocks. Imagine if we did the same thing to people! What if we took time to listen to the beauty of the foreign language of those sitting next to us in the coffee shop. The eyes, hands, facial features of those we pass on the street, in the market, at work, the list can go on. What if we look the homeless person we walk by right in the eye that they know they are loved and cared about... that someone gives a damn about them, yet do we?
Why are we so obsessed with reality television? What is real about reality television except that there are real person on the other side of the "idiot box"? (I remember learning in elementary school that idiot box is the name for televisions in Australia.) Are we so stuck on reality television that we can no longer live in the reality of the world around us?
I don't know what Detroit is doing to me. It's changing me. I feel like I have been laid bare here. By being stripped down to my bare essentials, I am coming to understand what it means to be human. To be a live. To just be.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Testimony as a Detroit Gappper
I was recently asked to write my testimony as a woman gapper in Detroit for a newsletter. This is my story (at least some of it):
In January of 2010, I clearly remember my pastoral leader asking me if I had considered serving with Detroit Summer Outreach. She was shocked that no one had ever talked to me about doing it since the Lord was doing a lot in my heart in the areas of serving, poverty, inter-city work, ecumenism, and community – everything encompassing the work in Detroit. After dragging my feet for a bit, I applied and was accepted into the summer program. I never would have imagined that saying "yes" to one invitation by the Lord would open the door to a life changing invitation that I received through an e-mail a week after being accepted into DSO. Josh Rock asked me to prayerfully consider doing a Standing in the Gap year in Detroit that following year. I e-mailed Josh back saying that it was crazy to think about leaving school when I had one year left, leaving Saint Paul's Outreach which I was actively involved in, to fundraise for a year of service when I had school loans, to move to a city that I knew nothing about, and to approach my parents back in Iowa about doing a program that I barely knew anything about. In my e-mail I said, "Doing a Gap year is crazy, but at the same time it makes a lot of sense to me because my heart desires most of the things that you are doing in Detroit." After prayer and many long conversations, I said "yes" to the invitation to come and see the Lord's work in Detroit.
That is what my Gap year is about. Opening my eyes to the wonder of God's work here in Detroit and stripping me down to my essential being as a daughter of God. Everything in Detroit is raw and real, and I experience that everyday. Detroit is bruised, broken, oppressed, and impoverished, yet it is so close to God's heart. I came into my year of service with a whole bunch of ideas about leading the youth group, our after-school program, and working with the poor. The Lord quickly taught me that this is His work and all outside ideas, game plans, and prides need to be left at the door. I lead the high school girls’ youth group which has tripled in size this year from one girl to three. I tried to do the "normal" youth group thing by leading worship, having Bible studies, giving talks, and doing girly things, but it didn't work. Finally, I surrendered, gave up all my preconceived notions, and allowed God to lead. It was messy, unconventional, and it didn't look like we were doing much – especially not much dealing with Christianity. Fortunately, Jesus leads our youth group. Last week, two of the younger girls were led to Christ, and I can't wait to see what God is going to do next week!
Being the only woman Gapper in Detroit has its challenges, but so does being a Christian. I have never felt so blessed in my entire life as I have here in Detroit. I get to walk on holy ground every single day. God's presence here is consuming. You can see Christ's love for His people. I can't explain it, but I experience it. I experience it at the Capuchin soup kitchen when I give Andre, a former gang leader, drug addict, and ex-con, a hug every Friday morning. I experience it while holding Esther's hands looking her in the eyes telling her of God's love even though she believes that her heart is too cold to be loved. I experience it sitting in the Wilson's living room shooting the breeze and sharing life. I experience it as a child from our after-school program, Bezalel Project, runs towards me for a hug, or while driving through the projects picking up or dropping off kids. I experience it through our tight-knit community here in Detroit that functions like a family. I experience God's love for His beloved children here in Detroit, and it's a privilege to have so many opportunities to love those in need of Him.
This Christmas, I received an ornament that says "Hope Shines Bright." A year ago, I would have never imagined that one simple invitation would change my life. The Lord invited me into the midst of His work, and I am truly privileged to say that "the hope of Christ truly shines bright in the city of Detroit."
In January of 2010, I clearly remember my pastoral leader asking me if I had considered serving with Detroit Summer Outreach. She was shocked that no one had ever talked to me about doing it since the Lord was doing a lot in my heart in the areas of serving, poverty, inter-city work, ecumenism, and community – everything encompassing the work in Detroit. After dragging my feet for a bit, I applied and was accepted into the summer program. I never would have imagined that saying "yes" to one invitation by the Lord would open the door to a life changing invitation that I received through an e-mail a week after being accepted into DSO. Josh Rock asked me to prayerfully consider doing a Standing in the Gap year in Detroit that following year. I e-mailed Josh back saying that it was crazy to think about leaving school when I had one year left, leaving Saint Paul's Outreach which I was actively involved in, to fundraise for a year of service when I had school loans, to move to a city that I knew nothing about, and to approach my parents back in Iowa about doing a program that I barely knew anything about. In my e-mail I said, "Doing a Gap year is crazy, but at the same time it makes a lot of sense to me because my heart desires most of the things that you are doing in Detroit." After prayer and many long conversations, I said "yes" to the invitation to come and see the Lord's work in Detroit.
That is what my Gap year is about. Opening my eyes to the wonder of God's work here in Detroit and stripping me down to my essential being as a daughter of God. Everything in Detroit is raw and real, and I experience that everyday. Detroit is bruised, broken, oppressed, and impoverished, yet it is so close to God's heart. I came into my year of service with a whole bunch of ideas about leading the youth group, our after-school program, and working with the poor. The Lord quickly taught me that this is His work and all outside ideas, game plans, and prides need to be left at the door. I lead the high school girls’ youth group which has tripled in size this year from one girl to three. I tried to do the "normal" youth group thing by leading worship, having Bible studies, giving talks, and doing girly things, but it didn't work. Finally, I surrendered, gave up all my preconceived notions, and allowed God to lead. It was messy, unconventional, and it didn't look like we were doing much – especially not much dealing with Christianity. Fortunately, Jesus leads our youth group. Last week, two of the younger girls were led to Christ, and I can't wait to see what God is going to do next week!
Being the only woman Gapper in Detroit has its challenges, but so does being a Christian. I have never felt so blessed in my entire life as I have here in Detroit. I get to walk on holy ground every single day. God's presence here is consuming. You can see Christ's love for His people. I can't explain it, but I experience it. I experience it at the Capuchin soup kitchen when I give Andre, a former gang leader, drug addict, and ex-con, a hug every Friday morning. I experience it while holding Esther's hands looking her in the eyes telling her of God's love even though she believes that her heart is too cold to be loved. I experience it sitting in the Wilson's living room shooting the breeze and sharing life. I experience it as a child from our after-school program, Bezalel Project, runs towards me for a hug, or while driving through the projects picking up or dropping off kids. I experience it through our tight-knit community here in Detroit that functions like a family. I experience God's love for His beloved children here in Detroit, and it's a privilege to have so many opportunities to love those in need of Him.
This Christmas, I received an ornament that says "Hope Shines Bright." A year ago, I would have never imagined that one simple invitation would change my life. The Lord invited me into the midst of His work, and I am truly privileged to say that "the hope of Christ truly shines bright in the city of Detroit."
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
I'm just a small town girl...
Many times throughout the year, I have stopped in awe looking at where I am standing today and where I was standing five years ago. I am just a girl from a town of 200 in the middle of nowhere in Iowa, and now I am living in Detroit, Michigan. But Detroit doesn't even begin to explain it. Last year alone, I was in Sierra Leone, West Africa; Colorado; West Virginia; Columbus, Ohio; Naperville and Chicago, Illinois; the Twin Cities; and all the places in between. I have traveled throughout England once stranded in London for 4 days as well as for a J-term my freshman year of college. I have been to Sierra Leone three different times and in college I hung out with the homeless people in Minneapolis. And now, I am taking a year off from my SENIOR year of college to do a year of voluntary service in Detroit, Michigan a city I knew very little about, but many people worried about me going there. How do these things happen to me? I can't really explain it except that God has a particular calling on my life and from a young age, I have been trying to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit. My dad always says that there is nothing spectacular about his children or family except that we follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I don't know why God has chosen a small own girl from Iowa to be His hands and feet in all of these places, but He has. My life as a Christian disciple is far from boring- let me tell you that!
Often I don't realize how different my life is until I am taken out of my world and placed into another world or unless somebody point blankly tells me that this isn't normal. But define normal! I am starting to forget what normal is, but maybe we aren't supposed to live normal lives. I think normalency (I am making up words here) can lead to complacency if we aren't careful.
It was strange to come back home to Iowa this Christmas break. It was quite the trip to just make it there. I was awaken at 6:03 AM by my friend, Andy, calling me from my front porch ready to bring me to the bus stop. Praise the Lord that most of my stuff was already packed with just a few things to throw in. With Andy making me a lunch, I was able to get ready and out the door in 10 minutes. My parents can testify that that truly is a miracle! I made it to the bus station just in a time for me to catch the Mega Bus with a few minutes to spare. Unfortunately I forgot my lunch in the car, so I was sitting on the bus tired and hungry ready for my 14 hour bus ride to Minneapolis! It all turned out alright in the end though.
I love public transportation, and I am starting to get pretty good at using it. I especially love subways, elevated trains, buses, any kind of inner city transportation. It always very exciting for me because I never used it growing up, and it is always an adventure especially observing the people around you! In Detroit, the public transportation system is NOT one of its high points. The bus system is horrible. You never know if your bus is going to come or not and usually the buses show up late. I feel bad for many of our kids in our programs who have to wait to ride the bus to school everyday. Usually they have to wake up extra early just to catch the bus and make there transfer. It's so different from when I had to wait at the Holland "bus stop" a house over from my house for five minutes, and we were dropped off right at school. Public transportation use to scare me so much, but I have slowly learned how to get around.
It's amazing how I have learned how to get around in different cities. When I was only 18 years old just graduated from high school, I was stranded in London for 4 days by myself while I was on my way to Sierra Leone. Luckily, my parish priest had relatives in London who I was able to stay with for a few days. One of those days, I rode with Mr. Quint to his work in downtown London and explored the city by myself. Who does that as an 18 year old girl? I am from a country who has a very little sense of history, yet I was touring the Tower of London. I ate my homemade lunch on a little bench in Trafalgar Square watching the swarms of people walk by. I rode the tube by myself and made it back to Mr. Quint's office in time to go home for dinner.
I don't know how I have learned how to do these things. I just do them because God has provided me the opportunities to do so. God has given me countless experiences to do things that I never imagined I would be doing except that He is teaching me. I never imagined that God would teach me so much about the inner city and inner city ministry when I decided to attend the University of St. Thomas. It all started with when I served with REVAMP and met these crazy people who had a heart for the city. God slowly started showing me His heart for the city, and I fell in love with Minneapolis and the inner city. Through going to Detroit, I am starting to see how God has given me a heart for His people especially those who are poor and oppressed. Time after time, He calls me to work in the areas where people say "don't go there" or "that's a bad part of town" and yet that's the places I love best! Some how in the last couple of years, I have learned where the homeless people hang out, how to navigate my way through a soup kitchen, and how to speak compassionately yet firmly with beggars and drunks. In the last few years, my world has been completely turned upside down actually it has been taken apart... a prayer I have prayed many times, but that's a whole other blog post!
This Christmas break, my brother picked me up on the boarder of Iowa and Minnesota in our old pick up truck listening to country music and taking the back roads with the millions of stars above us. I looked out on the open fields covered with ice and snow. We drove through small towns a glow with Christmas lights with trucks and cars lining the streets. In Holland, cars park in the middle of he road. I thought about the little cafes with a steady stream of people coming in and out. Small town life includes dirty jeans, flannel shirts, and work boots. I will probably always be a jean and t-shirt kind of girl at heart at least that's what Grandma says. So much of small town life revolves around farming. We all know farmers and at least have some basis of what farm life is like. Many of my friend's families are farmers. My dad worked for two farmers part of my life. Last year, I would pray for the farmers especially during planting and harvest season. My roommate said that she never thought about praying for the farmers. She grew up in the city. It just wasn't a part of her life, but it was a part of mine. Sam, one of the guys I work with, for meal time prayers will always pray for the hands the prepared the food as well as the hands who grew it. I often don't hear people pray for the farmers or the people who work for the food industry, so I always appreciates it when he does.
That night when I got home, I headed out to Johny Ray's a little resturant in the neighboring town where I went to school to meet up with my high school classmates for a mini reunion. We met in the bar drinking American beers and having shots. It was another example of just how different my life had become. It's hard to explain a small town bar, but it's different than a bar in the city. I also have realized how spoiled I have become mostly drinking European beers and having a larger variety on tap. Several of my classmates are getting married and most of them still live close to home. It was really great being able to catch up with them, and it was interesting to see how we all came from the same place, yet how different our paths have been.
I also thought about all the people back in Detroit who laugh at me so much for being from a small town. It all started this summer when I was at a rest stop on the way to Northern Michigan and I took a deep breath looking out over the rolling hills and said "It smells like farm." I guess people from Detroit don't usually here people say that with so much joy in their voice! I love Iowa so much, but I bet I will never live there again. I love that I could be outside all day long playing basketball with the boys, exploring the creek, or riding my bike on the trail. I loved that the sidewalks only purpose was to collect weeds because I walked in the middle of the street. I loved that the only traffic jams in Iowa are from tractors (The first year I had a car in Minneapolis I longed for tractor jams. Now my dad comments on how much my driving has changed since when I lived in Iowa). It was strange walking outside my grandparent's house by myself smiling and chit chatting with the neighbors who I didn't know. I don't usually greet people so openly in Detroit. In Detroit, I am just another face in the crowd while back home in Iowa I am known by so many people, and I know so many people. I know most of the town and most of the town knows me.
At heart, I will always be a small town girl, but I know that I am being shaped and formed into a Global Minded Woman of God. I am so grateful for my small town roots. I was able to experience a lot of things through being involved in athletics, theater student government, band, year book staff, ect. All of these experiences in school, propelled me into a world of people and opportunities that I have been blessed to be a part of as I continue to grow, learn, and be formed each and every day. I am definitely not a small town girl living in a lonely world as the song says!
Often I don't realize how different my life is until I am taken out of my world and placed into another world or unless somebody point blankly tells me that this isn't normal. But define normal! I am starting to forget what normal is, but maybe we aren't supposed to live normal lives. I think normalency (I am making up words here) can lead to complacency if we aren't careful.
It was strange to come back home to Iowa this Christmas break. It was quite the trip to just make it there. I was awaken at 6:03 AM by my friend, Andy, calling me from my front porch ready to bring me to the bus stop. Praise the Lord that most of my stuff was already packed with just a few things to throw in. With Andy making me a lunch, I was able to get ready and out the door in 10 minutes. My parents can testify that that truly is a miracle! I made it to the bus station just in a time for me to catch the Mega Bus with a few minutes to spare. Unfortunately I forgot my lunch in the car, so I was sitting on the bus tired and hungry ready for my 14 hour bus ride to Minneapolis! It all turned out alright in the end though.
I love public transportation, and I am starting to get pretty good at using it. I especially love subways, elevated trains, buses, any kind of inner city transportation. It always very exciting for me because I never used it growing up, and it is always an adventure especially observing the people around you! In Detroit, the public transportation system is NOT one of its high points. The bus system is horrible. You never know if your bus is going to come or not and usually the buses show up late. I feel bad for many of our kids in our programs who have to wait to ride the bus to school everyday. Usually they have to wake up extra early just to catch the bus and make there transfer. It's so different from when I had to wait at the Holland "bus stop" a house over from my house for five minutes, and we were dropped off right at school. Public transportation use to scare me so much, but I have slowly learned how to get around.
It's amazing how I have learned how to get around in different cities. When I was only 18 years old just graduated from high school, I was stranded in London for 4 days by myself while I was on my way to Sierra Leone. Luckily, my parish priest had relatives in London who I was able to stay with for a few days. One of those days, I rode with Mr. Quint to his work in downtown London and explored the city by myself. Who does that as an 18 year old girl? I am from a country who has a very little sense of history, yet I was touring the Tower of London. I ate my homemade lunch on a little bench in Trafalgar Square watching the swarms of people walk by. I rode the tube by myself and made it back to Mr. Quint's office in time to go home for dinner.
I don't know how I have learned how to do these things. I just do them because God has provided me the opportunities to do so. God has given me countless experiences to do things that I never imagined I would be doing except that He is teaching me. I never imagined that God would teach me so much about the inner city and inner city ministry when I decided to attend the University of St. Thomas. It all started with when I served with REVAMP and met these crazy people who had a heart for the city. God slowly started showing me His heart for the city, and I fell in love with Minneapolis and the inner city. Through going to Detroit, I am starting to see how God has given me a heart for His people especially those who are poor and oppressed. Time after time, He calls me to work in the areas where people say "don't go there" or "that's a bad part of town" and yet that's the places I love best! Some how in the last couple of years, I have learned where the homeless people hang out, how to navigate my way through a soup kitchen, and how to speak compassionately yet firmly with beggars and drunks. In the last few years, my world has been completely turned upside down actually it has been taken apart... a prayer I have prayed many times, but that's a whole other blog post!
This Christmas break, my brother picked me up on the boarder of Iowa and Minnesota in our old pick up truck listening to country music and taking the back roads with the millions of stars above us. I looked out on the open fields covered with ice and snow. We drove through small towns a glow with Christmas lights with trucks and cars lining the streets. In Holland, cars park in the middle of he road. I thought about the little cafes with a steady stream of people coming in and out. Small town life includes dirty jeans, flannel shirts, and work boots. I will probably always be a jean and t-shirt kind of girl at heart at least that's what Grandma says. So much of small town life revolves around farming. We all know farmers and at least have some basis of what farm life is like. Many of my friend's families are farmers. My dad worked for two farmers part of my life. Last year, I would pray for the farmers especially during planting and harvest season. My roommate said that she never thought about praying for the farmers. She grew up in the city. It just wasn't a part of her life, but it was a part of mine. Sam, one of the guys I work with, for meal time prayers will always pray for the hands the prepared the food as well as the hands who grew it. I often don't hear people pray for the farmers or the people who work for the food industry, so I always appreciates it when he does.
That night when I got home, I headed out to Johny Ray's a little resturant in the neighboring town where I went to school to meet up with my high school classmates for a mini reunion. We met in the bar drinking American beers and having shots. It was another example of just how different my life had become. It's hard to explain a small town bar, but it's different than a bar in the city. I also have realized how spoiled I have become mostly drinking European beers and having a larger variety on tap. Several of my classmates are getting married and most of them still live close to home. It was really great being able to catch up with them, and it was interesting to see how we all came from the same place, yet how different our paths have been.
I also thought about all the people back in Detroit who laugh at me so much for being from a small town. It all started this summer when I was at a rest stop on the way to Northern Michigan and I took a deep breath looking out over the rolling hills and said "It smells like farm." I guess people from Detroit don't usually here people say that with so much joy in their voice! I love Iowa so much, but I bet I will never live there again. I love that I could be outside all day long playing basketball with the boys, exploring the creek, or riding my bike on the trail. I loved that the sidewalks only purpose was to collect weeds because I walked in the middle of the street. I loved that the only traffic jams in Iowa are from tractors (The first year I had a car in Minneapolis I longed for tractor jams. Now my dad comments on how much my driving has changed since when I lived in Iowa). It was strange walking outside my grandparent's house by myself smiling and chit chatting with the neighbors who I didn't know. I don't usually greet people so openly in Detroit. In Detroit, I am just another face in the crowd while back home in Iowa I am known by so many people, and I know so many people. I know most of the town and most of the town knows me.
At heart, I will always be a small town girl, but I know that I am being shaped and formed into a Global Minded Woman of God. I am so grateful for my small town roots. I was able to experience a lot of things through being involved in athletics, theater student government, band, year book staff, ect. All of these experiences in school, propelled me into a world of people and opportunities that I have been blessed to be a part of as I continue to grow, learn, and be formed each and every day. I am definitely not a small town girl living in a lonely world as the song says!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Transitions
To say that the last month of my life has been intense and crazy would be an understatement. It's hard to believe that it has been a month since my last post. You could either conclude that I am doing nothing interesting worth writing or my life has been exteremely full and busy... you make the decision! So like usual, I have been running around without taking time to sit down and process anything which is a big problem in my life that I am working on. It's crucial to take a moments rest to look at the path we just ran. If we don't, we just run out of steam and sit on the side of the road dying. We aren't made for death though, but life. God has made us for life, and I want to live life to the fullest. That's why I am trying to step back to reflect on the things that have just happened in my life in order that I might have life.
This morning as I went into Avalon, a man was sitting at the table where I put down my stuff in order to get my Fairtrrade organic coffee and organic vegan granola bar (I love this place). He was a native to Detroit, and we ended up talking about various aspects of the city. It was great to hear his perspectives on things as well as awesome hole-in-the-wall places to visit. We talked about how great urban places like Avalon is because people will take time to talk to one another unlike the suburbs where everything is commercialized and everyone is in such a big rush. Maybe that's why I love Detroit so much because it has the relational aspect that I find in Africa as well. Not a lot gets accomplished, but we enjoy the time we spend with one another! But things are getting accomplished here in Detroit, but you will have to wait for another day to hear about that.
During my GAP traning at the beginning of September, we talked about how it would take 3-6 months to fully make the transition and settle into all the aspects of our GAP year, our service, our relationships, where we fit in, ect. The unfortunate thing is that as soon as you start to really feel that you know what you are doing, the year is up and it's time to go home. It's the bitter sweet nature of the program. It was really great to be in Detroit this summer because I was able to take in the shock of the city and begin to grasp the reality of what is going on in here in Detroit.
When I moved back at the end of August, most of my adjustments were related to living with a family, building friendships, and the youth work I am doing. I felt that I was learning so much all the time. Going from a college life living with a whole bunch of women my age to full time ministry living with a family with 3 (then 4) small children has been quite a transition. I had to learn all the house rules, and there were a lot of them because we live in an old house with small children. These house rules have become instictive to me now, but a couple of months ago they were overwhelming. I had to learn how to clean with vinegar, how to start the dishwasher, where to place the knifes so the children wouldn't get them, to keep my cup a safe distance from the edge of the counter so it wouldn't be spilt by the 21 month old, to keep the bathroom lights on, to close the inner door, where the kids hiding places are, how to change cloth diapers, how to clear the table and do dishes while holding an infant, the sponge system, and the list could do on. I think I am starting to get all the household rules, but often I am reminded or learn of a new one. Yesterday day I broke a pan because I didn't know that it couldn't be used on the stove. My mom had been cooking ground beef in those white pans my whole life then when I try to do it- the pan cracks. It would be my luck to have that happen. Now that winter is coming, there are all the energy saving practices. Luckily, I live in a house with an infant, so the heat has been turned on even though it is kept in the low 60's. The heat in the office won't be turned on until December, so I have been practicing layering a lot recently. When I move to a new place, I talk a lot about survival skills. There are certain things that you learn to do to survive in the place that you are at, but eventually it just becomes instintive and you don't have to think about it anymore. Putting a club on my car is one of those things that I just do instinctively now because it's part of the way of life here.
Family is a big part of the way of life here. Within our small Detroit Community Outreach (DCO) that I am a part of, we relate as one big family rather than seperate family units that are friends. Within in DCO, there are two families (the Rocks and Propsons), 3 men living in the Servants of the Word ecumenical brotherhood, 4 young guys living with the Servants, and one woman living single for the Lord. There are also others who are part of DCO, but the group I just named makes up the core. Because there is such a small group of us, we are really close and we really rely on one another. It was so great to have the brothers cook up meals three different times after the baby was born. Priscilla (the woman that I live with) broke her ankle last week, and three of the "young guys" came over and carried her out to the car so that we could go to the ER (being at Receiving's ER is another story for later). I am often calling the brothers to figure out carpooling to different events or going over to the Rock's house for dinner. The Lord has called the families within DCO to live a radical Christian life here in Detroit as a community and a family. We really love one another, and it is such a blessing to be apart of the Detroit family.
Now things haven't always been easy. It's often hard relating to the brothers, families, and children. I miss women my age to be able to hang out with and share life. It has been a great blessing to go to the University Christian Outreach events and prayer meeting at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor to build sisterhood and other relationships. At the same time, God has been providing. Many people say that Detroit can often be a lonely place to do ministry but I haven't really experienced much loneliness. My roommate, Ana, who has been the other female gapper is leaving in one week to go back home to Costa Rica, but I trust that God is going to provide for me in other ways. I will be the only young single women here in Detroit, yet I trust that God is going to provide other friends and relationships for me to be supported and loved. I know that my brothers and the families are going to make an extra effort to care for me. God has provided for me so much these last 2.5 months, why would He stop? I am in the middle of a huge transition between Ana leaving, Priscilla breaking her foot, leading the youth group on my own, ect but I have so much peace and joy. Sometimes I can get scared of what is going to happen when Ana leaves, but I know that fear is only Satan's way of trying to get me to quit trusting God and falling into despair. I can't do that though because I have too much hope and trust in God. I am in the middle of God's will and I know He will provide for me. For all those who are reading this, I just hope and pray that you too old onto the hope of Christ when you are going through a transitions and trust that He will bring you through.
This morning as I went into Avalon, a man was sitting at the table where I put down my stuff in order to get my Fairtrrade organic coffee and organic vegan granola bar (I love this place). He was a native to Detroit, and we ended up talking about various aspects of the city. It was great to hear his perspectives on things as well as awesome hole-in-the-wall places to visit. We talked about how great urban places like Avalon is because people will take time to talk to one another unlike the suburbs where everything is commercialized and everyone is in such a big rush. Maybe that's why I love Detroit so much because it has the relational aspect that I find in Africa as well. Not a lot gets accomplished, but we enjoy the time we spend with one another! But things are getting accomplished here in Detroit, but you will have to wait for another day to hear about that.
During my GAP traning at the beginning of September, we talked about how it would take 3-6 months to fully make the transition and settle into all the aspects of our GAP year, our service, our relationships, where we fit in, ect. The unfortunate thing is that as soon as you start to really feel that you know what you are doing, the year is up and it's time to go home. It's the bitter sweet nature of the program. It was really great to be in Detroit this summer because I was able to take in the shock of the city and begin to grasp the reality of what is going on in here in Detroit.
When I moved back at the end of August, most of my adjustments were related to living with a family, building friendships, and the youth work I am doing. I felt that I was learning so much all the time. Going from a college life living with a whole bunch of women my age to full time ministry living with a family with 3 (then 4) small children has been quite a transition. I had to learn all the house rules, and there were a lot of them because we live in an old house with small children. These house rules have become instictive to me now, but a couple of months ago they were overwhelming. I had to learn how to clean with vinegar, how to start the dishwasher, where to place the knifes so the children wouldn't get them, to keep my cup a safe distance from the edge of the counter so it wouldn't be spilt by the 21 month old, to keep the bathroom lights on, to close the inner door, where the kids hiding places are, how to change cloth diapers, how to clear the table and do dishes while holding an infant, the sponge system, and the list could do on. I think I am starting to get all the household rules, but often I am reminded or learn of a new one. Yesterday day I broke a pan because I didn't know that it couldn't be used on the stove. My mom had been cooking ground beef in those white pans my whole life then when I try to do it- the pan cracks. It would be my luck to have that happen. Now that winter is coming, there are all the energy saving practices. Luckily, I live in a house with an infant, so the heat has been turned on even though it is kept in the low 60's. The heat in the office won't be turned on until December, so I have been practicing layering a lot recently. When I move to a new place, I talk a lot about survival skills. There are certain things that you learn to do to survive in the place that you are at, but eventually it just becomes instintive and you don't have to think about it anymore. Putting a club on my car is one of those things that I just do instinctively now because it's part of the way of life here.
Family is a big part of the way of life here. Within our small Detroit Community Outreach (DCO) that I am a part of, we relate as one big family rather than seperate family units that are friends. Within in DCO, there are two families (the Rocks and Propsons), 3 men living in the Servants of the Word ecumenical brotherhood, 4 young guys living with the Servants, and one woman living single for the Lord. There are also others who are part of DCO, but the group I just named makes up the core. Because there is such a small group of us, we are really close and we really rely on one another. It was so great to have the brothers cook up meals three different times after the baby was born. Priscilla (the woman that I live with) broke her ankle last week, and three of the "young guys" came over and carried her out to the car so that we could go to the ER (being at Receiving's ER is another story for later). I am often calling the brothers to figure out carpooling to different events or going over to the Rock's house for dinner. The Lord has called the families within DCO to live a radical Christian life here in Detroit as a community and a family. We really love one another, and it is such a blessing to be apart of the Detroit family.
Now things haven't always been easy. It's often hard relating to the brothers, families, and children. I miss women my age to be able to hang out with and share life. It has been a great blessing to go to the University Christian Outreach events and prayer meeting at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor to build sisterhood and other relationships. At the same time, God has been providing. Many people say that Detroit can often be a lonely place to do ministry but I haven't really experienced much loneliness. My roommate, Ana, who has been the other female gapper is leaving in one week to go back home to Costa Rica, but I trust that God is going to provide for me in other ways. I will be the only young single women here in Detroit, yet I trust that God is going to provide other friends and relationships for me to be supported and loved. I know that my brothers and the families are going to make an extra effort to care for me. God has provided for me so much these last 2.5 months, why would He stop? I am in the middle of a huge transition between Ana leaving, Priscilla breaking her foot, leading the youth group on my own, ect but I have so much peace and joy. Sometimes I can get scared of what is going to happen when Ana leaves, but I know that fear is only Satan's way of trying to get me to quit trusting God and falling into despair. I can't do that though because I have too much hope and trust in God. I am in the middle of God's will and I know He will provide for me. For all those who are reading this, I just hope and pray that you too old onto the hope of Christ when you are going through a transitions and trust that He will bring you through.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Christ and Coffee
While in collage, I often would say that all I need to survive the day is Jesus and coffee and oh how many days those two would pull me through my last minute papers and long days! I think most collage students understand the importance of coffee and as a student missionary serving with St. Paul's Outreach, I also tried to show university students the importance of having a relationship with Jesus and living that out in their daily life. It was very common for me to go out for coffee with different people I was reaching out to or friends who were needing some encouragement. Coffee became a kind of common ground in which we were able to share life over. As each cup of liquid comfort releases warm goodness into the air, our souls become entangled together along with the rich aroma each slowly rising like incense. From outside in, we are warmed head to toe not only with the cup of java, but with the love of Christ if we know it or not. I truly believe if we are able to slow down while drinking our cup of coffee to pray or recognize Christ around us, we will receive much more than just a quick rush of caffeine to kick start our day.
While working in Detroit, I was able to attend a Sunday morning Bible Study at Canticle Cafe part of St. Al's Outreach Center run by the Franciscan Friars in Downtown Detroit. More than 1500 people visit the outreach each week looking for a warm meal, new clothes, medical attention, shelter, and a bit of encouragement. Throughout the week, services are provided to the needy and homeless in downtown Detroit. Having worked at the center before, I was a little surprised to see so many people here for the Bible study even though no food or clothes were being given a way. This was an opportunity for those without a home or often even a Bible were able to hear the Word of God proclaimed while having an opportunity to share the way God has been working in their lives. I was very encouraged to see around 50 people gather around the tables in this small "cafe" sharing stories of ways in which God had worked in their life. Brother Ed, who led the study, had many stories to share about people just like them who had been transformed by the love of God. This was a place in which God was able to meet His people just where they were at. Of course coffee was being served, too!
It was while sitting in Canticle Cafe laughing with two women that I realized the power God had to bring people together through coffee. For those who don't believe, coffee being served often opens up doors for conversations about Christ. And for believers, they know that any good event or conversation about God should include coffee. Why else would we have coffee and donuts after church? Anyways, I remember looking around the room at those holding their cups of coffee while others were standing in line to fill their cups up. I remember a guy at the table behind me spilling his cup of coffee and another guy quickly grabbing paper towels to clean it up. All over the floor there were coffee spills, but it didn't seem to matter because that wasn't the purpose of why they were there. Through cups of coffee, I was able to see people show generosity to one another in ways that I don't think they usually do. I know that it seems like I am making something out of nothing, but in working with lots of different people over the years I have seen the ways that coffee can often lead to a simple act of kindness which can really change a persons day or eve life.
Here's one little story that Brother Ed shares: One Saturday morning on a cold winter day, Brother Ed was distributing coats at an outreach center. They had numbers for each of the men receiving coats because they didn't have enough coats for all the guys needing one. There was one large guy only wearing a sweat shirt who came in after all the numbers had been given out. He was furious that there weren't enough coats for him to have one. He started getting into a rage and yelling how he really needed a coat. This guy was desperate and often human beings become irrational when they are in desperate situations. Brother Ed was starting to get worried, and he wasn't sure what he was going to do. Another guy, number 49, came up to Brother Ed, and said, "Brother Ed, I want to give my number to this guy. He is really cold, and he needs a coat more than I do." Brother Ed told him that he wouldn't be able to get a coat if he gave his number a way, but the guy was more than willing to do so. Brother Ed then gave number 49 to the man in a rage who quietly accepted the number, chose his coat, and sat a little embarrassed along the wall. The man who gave up his chance to receive a coat walked over to the other man with a cup of coffee. Before long the two of them were sitting there roaring with laughter because they knew the same people from grade school. Before the day was over, a woman drove up with an SUV full of coats that she believed she was supposed to bring over to the outreach that day. Brother Ed called over the man who gave up his number to allow him to have his first choice of a new coat. I love when Brother Ed shares this story because it's an incredible story of generosity, small acts of kindness, God's faithfulness, and of course a common cup of coffee.
It's incredible that no matter what class, race, religion, or nationality you are in this country- a cup of coffee can be a common ground in which souls intermingle among the strong aroma of java. It helps me to see that in the different areas in which I have lived and served whether in the rich suburbs of Chicago, the collage campuses in St. Paul, or the streets of Detroit coffee is a common denominator for them all, and really we aren't as different as one may think because in God's eyes we are all the same!
While working in Detroit, I was able to attend a Sunday morning Bible Study at Canticle Cafe part of St. Al's Outreach Center run by the Franciscan Friars in Downtown Detroit. More than 1500 people visit the outreach each week looking for a warm meal, new clothes, medical attention, shelter, and a bit of encouragement. Throughout the week, services are provided to the needy and homeless in downtown Detroit. Having worked at the center before, I was a little surprised to see so many people here for the Bible study even though no food or clothes were being given a way. This was an opportunity for those without a home or often even a Bible were able to hear the Word of God proclaimed while having an opportunity to share the way God has been working in their lives. I was very encouraged to see around 50 people gather around the tables in this small "cafe" sharing stories of ways in which God had worked in their life. Brother Ed, who led the study, had many stories to share about people just like them who had been transformed by the love of God. This was a place in which God was able to meet His people just where they were at. Of course coffee was being served, too!
It was while sitting in Canticle Cafe laughing with two women that I realized the power God had to bring people together through coffee. For those who don't believe, coffee being served often opens up doors for conversations about Christ. And for believers, they know that any good event or conversation about God should include coffee. Why else would we have coffee and donuts after church? Anyways, I remember looking around the room at those holding their cups of coffee while others were standing in line to fill their cups up. I remember a guy at the table behind me spilling his cup of coffee and another guy quickly grabbing paper towels to clean it up. All over the floor there were coffee spills, but it didn't seem to matter because that wasn't the purpose of why they were there. Through cups of coffee, I was able to see people show generosity to one another in ways that I don't think they usually do. I know that it seems like I am making something out of nothing, but in working with lots of different people over the years I have seen the ways that coffee can often lead to a simple act of kindness which can really change a persons day or eve life.
Here's one little story that Brother Ed shares: One Saturday morning on a cold winter day, Brother Ed was distributing coats at an outreach center. They had numbers for each of the men receiving coats because they didn't have enough coats for all the guys needing one. There was one large guy only wearing a sweat shirt who came in after all the numbers had been given out. He was furious that there weren't enough coats for him to have one. He started getting into a rage and yelling how he really needed a coat. This guy was desperate and often human beings become irrational when they are in desperate situations. Brother Ed was starting to get worried, and he wasn't sure what he was going to do. Another guy, number 49, came up to Brother Ed, and said, "Brother Ed, I want to give my number to this guy. He is really cold, and he needs a coat more than I do." Brother Ed told him that he wouldn't be able to get a coat if he gave his number a way, but the guy was more than willing to do so. Brother Ed then gave number 49 to the man in a rage who quietly accepted the number, chose his coat, and sat a little embarrassed along the wall. The man who gave up his chance to receive a coat walked over to the other man with a cup of coffee. Before long the two of them were sitting there roaring with laughter because they knew the same people from grade school. Before the day was over, a woman drove up with an SUV full of coats that she believed she was supposed to bring over to the outreach that day. Brother Ed called over the man who gave up his number to allow him to have his first choice of a new coat. I love when Brother Ed shares this story because it's an incredible story of generosity, small acts of kindness, God's faithfulness, and of course a common cup of coffee.
It's incredible that no matter what class, race, religion, or nationality you are in this country- a cup of coffee can be a common ground in which souls intermingle among the strong aroma of java. It helps me to see that in the different areas in which I have lived and served whether in the rich suburbs of Chicago, the collage campuses in St. Paul, or the streets of Detroit coffee is a common denominator for them all, and really we aren't as different as one may think because in God's eyes we are all the same!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Meeting Larry
I don't view myself much as a blogger. I know that people blog on a regular basis as a hobby or something, but I just want to share my experiences in Detroit and remember that things that have happened to me. It's kind of like journaling- I love to journal, but I hate to take the time to journal. This probably stems from the fact that I am not very good at taking time for myself to stop, be still, and reflect on my life. I always feel like I need to be on the go, doing something productive. This blog probably has more purpose to my life than I could begin to imagine!
Anyways, Larry. Last weekend, one of my friends from DSO (Detroit Summer Outreach-the program I did in Detroit this summer) was visiting Detroit, and we went out to my new favorite bakery/coffee shop in Detroit called Avalon International Breads. Side story: I was going around a neighborhood in Detroit dropping off fliers for a benefit we are doing for Youth Works Detroit, and I ran into Avalon. It felt like dejavu (I have always been a poor speller) because I knew that I knew the place. That's when it hit me- Avalon would come to our house this summer every Tuesday to drop off expired bread. I call Avalon my "hippie place" because most of the people there are hippies, they recycle, have compostible coffee cups, sell fair trade coffee, and use 100% organic flour. Avalon is my little get away place in the midst of craziness of life and ministry. After working there Tuesday morning, I decided it was my goal to befriend two people that regularly go to Avalon. But this is just the side story... back to Larry.
Avalon was really packed last Saturday, so Marie and I went outside to have our coffee and breakfast. There was a homeless man outside who was pretty boisterous, and he would create music with his drum sticks, a garbage can, and newspaper stand. It made me chuckle a little bit because it was your "typical inner city" scenario. While we were talking, Marie received a phone call and upon answering it, this homeless man stopped playing his "drums" so that it wouldn't be too loud for her. After hanging up, he approached us and asked us for money. I told him that I didn't give out money.
While being in Detroit, I have learned that you just answer the question they ask you. You don't need to offer food or something else out of guilt. It can sometimes be offensive to offer something else that they didn't ask for. It's balance between acknowledging people with respect, but also not getting bogged down with requests. It's easy to just pass them by, but they are people created in the image and likeness of God. Sometimes they don't want food, they just want money, so I have found it's better to say I don't give money.
But Larry was a perfect example of what I hope for when I talk with somebody who is homeless asking for money. He said, "Well, it would be really nice to just have one of those" (pointing to Marie's breakfast sandwich). Marie went inside to buy the sandwich while I stayed outside talking with Larry. I usually ask people if they are originally from Detroit. Larry wasn't. I don't remember where he was from, somewhere down south I believe, but he had traveled all over the country. One of his favorite places was California. He told me about walking along the coast line for hundreds of miles. It gave him time to think and contemplate who he was as a person. He also told me about a time when he was younger that he spent at a monastery. We ended up talking about God and who we are in relationship to God. When Marie came back out, the three of us held hands and prayed. It was such a beautiful testimony more to the people who were looking on at my "hippie get way place." It was also fun to see Larry light up when Marie got him an extra goodie. He didn't expect it at all. It was definitely worth giving the extra bit to see his joy and gratitude.
I am excited for the next time I am at Avalon and run into Larry. He's a kind of person that I want to talk to and learn from. I have been reflecting a lot about how everyone has a story, and I want to start asking and listening for people's stories and testimonies. The world truly is a classroom with people like Larry as my teachers, and I NEVER want to stop learning!
Anyways, Larry. Last weekend, one of my friends from DSO (Detroit Summer Outreach-the program I did in Detroit this summer) was visiting Detroit, and we went out to my new favorite bakery/coffee shop in Detroit called Avalon International Breads. Side story: I was going around a neighborhood in Detroit dropping off fliers for a benefit we are doing for Youth Works Detroit, and I ran into Avalon. It felt like dejavu (I have always been a poor speller) because I knew that I knew the place. That's when it hit me- Avalon would come to our house this summer every Tuesday to drop off expired bread. I call Avalon my "hippie place" because most of the people there are hippies, they recycle, have compostible coffee cups, sell fair trade coffee, and use 100% organic flour. Avalon is my little get away place in the midst of craziness of life and ministry. After working there Tuesday morning, I decided it was my goal to befriend two people that regularly go to Avalon. But this is just the side story... back to Larry.
Avalon was really packed last Saturday, so Marie and I went outside to have our coffee and breakfast. There was a homeless man outside who was pretty boisterous, and he would create music with his drum sticks, a garbage can, and newspaper stand. It made me chuckle a little bit because it was your "typical inner city" scenario. While we were talking, Marie received a phone call and upon answering it, this homeless man stopped playing his "drums" so that it wouldn't be too loud for her. After hanging up, he approached us and asked us for money. I told him that I didn't give out money.
While being in Detroit, I have learned that you just answer the question they ask you. You don't need to offer food or something else out of guilt. It can sometimes be offensive to offer something else that they didn't ask for. It's balance between acknowledging people with respect, but also not getting bogged down with requests. It's easy to just pass them by, but they are people created in the image and likeness of God. Sometimes they don't want food, they just want money, so I have found it's better to say I don't give money.
But Larry was a perfect example of what I hope for when I talk with somebody who is homeless asking for money. He said, "Well, it would be really nice to just have one of those" (pointing to Marie's breakfast sandwich). Marie went inside to buy the sandwich while I stayed outside talking with Larry. I usually ask people if they are originally from Detroit. Larry wasn't. I don't remember where he was from, somewhere down south I believe, but he had traveled all over the country. One of his favorite places was California. He told me about walking along the coast line for hundreds of miles. It gave him time to think and contemplate who he was as a person. He also told me about a time when he was younger that he spent at a monastery. We ended up talking about God and who we are in relationship to God. When Marie came back out, the three of us held hands and prayed. It was such a beautiful testimony more to the people who were looking on at my "hippie get way place." It was also fun to see Larry light up when Marie got him an extra goodie. He didn't expect it at all. It was definitely worth giving the extra bit to see his joy and gratitude.
I am excited for the next time I am at Avalon and run into Larry. He's a kind of person that I want to talk to and learn from. I have been reflecting a lot about how everyone has a story, and I want to start asking and listening for people's stories and testimonies. The world truly is a classroom with people like Larry as my teachers, and I NEVER want to stop learning!
Welcome Joseph Peregrin!
So, I wrote out this long blog about last Sunday when I played Miss Mom while the new baby was delivered. Unfortunately my computer was being ridiculous, and it got deleted. Now "Miss Mom," the story of how I played Mom last Sunday while the woman I live with went to the hospital to deliver a baby, is on my list of things I need to blog about. Until then, you will be happy to know that Joseph Peregrin was born on Sunday September 26 at 9:30 PM. It is an incredible gift and blessing to live with a new infant, and it surely keeps our lives busy here at home. More stories to come soon about Joseph, and my new "Mom" duties!
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