Staying

I just sent an e-mail update to a few of my friends scattered throughout the world.  As I was searching for their addresses, I was struck by how rich my life has been getting to know so many incredible people.  After getting to know each other for a couple of years (or maybe longer) myself or them move on into another chapter of our lives.  I hate it and love it, but never would I have it another way.  I am so honored and blessed to call each of them my friends, and I am glad we don't all live in the same small town (can you imagine!), but rather God has scattered us throughout the nations.  Our lives are not our own, but truly His.  As much as I miss them all, I know that we are united by something much greater than location.  This is the truth I hold onto.

For the last, 8 months I have been living and working in Belfast.  This year has been challenging in ways that I never expected, yet absolutely incredible.  I live in Ireland- it's the American dream.  It has been really hard for me to be away from so many of my friends and family, and enter into the "Belfast culture."  Sometimes I wonder what this bubbly American is doing here, but over and over again God confirms that this is exactly where I am meant to be.  January was by far my hardest month here, and I desperately wanted to go home.  Even though Belfast hasn't been the "perfect fit" like I experienced in Africa and Detroit, I have learned a lot about choosing to love and to be here rather than feeling like it.  As I have choose to be here each day, God has really enlarged my heart for this city.  Over Holy Week, I decided that I am going to stay here for another year - most likely working on a voluntary basis.  I am so excited to stay here because I know that God has so much more for me than I even realize.  I love the people I work and serve alongside.  The people here are so lovely and welcoming.  I'm really starting to build relationships here and finding my niche within Belfast. 

I didn’t plan on making my decision about Belfast during Lent.  Actually at Christmas time through the wisdom of a lady I was meeting with, I decided not to think much about if I was “staying” or “going.”  Rather to focus on putting things on the shelf in order that I may whole-heartedly give myself to the Lord and be in His presence.  During Lent, I took time to really pray, discern different things in my life, hear from the Lord, and really just BE in His presence.  God really spoke and opened my eyes to loads of things.  One of those things was that God had more for me here in Belfast, and that if I left after this year, I would be leaving prematurely.  At first, I thought I had to stay because there were no other options available.  Slowly, I began to realize that there was much more (and probably still even more than I realize).  I knew I didn’t have deep roots here, and that I wouldn’t be too sad about leaving.  I hadn’t given everything I have yet nor have I truly allowed myself to be blessed, broken, and shared with those around me. 

Over the last year, God has been about a mighty work in my life.  He has really uprooted a lot of things and cleared house.  In scripture in Philippians it says “I am confident in this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus.”   God has been about a good, good work in my life, and I am so grateful that He wants to continue on it.  Over again and over again God has spoken to me, “I have more for you.  I have more for you.”  It blows me away that the Lord of the heavens and of the earth who gave his very life for me on the cross- he gave up everything for me, still says “I have more for you.”  So I’m staying because this is where God has invited me to do- not being afraid, but rather being with him because he has so much more for me. 

 In all of this, there are still some practicalities that are being sorted out.  I already have a visa. (I originally applied for a two year visa.  Some people just assumed I was staying here for two years.) as well as people who are willing to live with me (they must be mad! ;0) I have things to do (aka work) but just because there is work doesn’t necessarily mean there is money.  There are a few things still up in the air in regards to finances.  Under my visa I could be paid by Youth Initiatives, but they don’t have the resources right now to pay a faith based youth worker (I have a religious worker visa).  That is a HUGE prayer request- not only that I can get funded for another year, but that money will come in for the faith development program within YI.  I’ll write a separate blog post about that later, but basically I am doing a lot of Catholic youth worker using my training on the New Evangelization.  Unfortunately there is little money for this kind of youth work, but harvest is so plentiful.  I am planning on going home for a visit at the end of the summer, and part of my visit will be fundraising for both myself and the faith development program.  Please, please, please be lifting these two things up in prayer.  

Yeah, I’m staying and it’s so exciting and really crazy.  I never imagined myself doing this- living life in Belfast and working with Irish young people.  My life is not my own, and God knows the plans he has for me. “Plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope,” says the Lord in Jeremiah.  What an incredibly blessed life I have lived.  I am so excited for the adventure still to come!   Blessings to each of you!