My Black Friend

I don't think anybody knows this, but growing up I really wanted a black friend. I remember dreaming about what it would be like if an African-American family moved into our little town. I just dreamed about a little black girl my age who I could play with. I don't know why I wanted a black girl to be my friend, but I just did.

It has been funny to look back on my life this year to see the little things that have happened in my life that bring a bit of sense to me being in Detroit. It's definitely not a random journey. God has been preparing me and my family for years... but that's another story- let's get back to my friend, Tanesha.

Last night, I felt like such a little girl sitting on the front porch of my house comparing my skin tones with Tanesha. She was talking about how dark her skin was getting from the sun, so naturally I started showing off my sun tan as well. She said I wasn't very dark, so I showed her the difference between my legs and arms. Then we started comparing our arms to each other. It was so funny especially when Priscilla came to the door and said "Tanesha won!"

My friendship with Tanesha has been completely unexpected. I first met her in October at the Bezalel Project. She was a volunteer helper who was very passive and quiet. I wasn't sure how well I was going to work with her because she was so quiet. I remember one time having her help me back up the van which I backed into a pole because she hadn't yelled at me to stop. Needless to say, I was a little irritated. I had to give her a chance though to really get to know her. Eventually I would break through, right?

I decided it would be good to invite her over to my house and hangout. I needed to build friendships in Detroit, and I wanted to bring her into the life we shared together in community. I invited her over for dinner at the Propson's after we had Bezalel. As we were sitting around the table sharing a meal together, Tanesha said this was her FIRST sit down meal she had ever had. We were in shock. Even more shocked because Tanesha came from a good family living with her mom and dad, went to a good private school, and completed college (more than I can say. Just wait until next year, Mom.) So that became our rhythm, every once in a while Tanesha would come over for dinner, help with dishes, hang out or watch a movie afterward. Slowly she got to know the Propson family, and the kids would run to the door when she would arrive with Mack yelling "Miss Esha, Miss Esha!" She would pick up one of the kids or sit on the couch while they all piled on top of her as she read a book to them. She got very used to the Propson clan and our dinner conversations from deep philosophical issues to Dorothy's future adventures to "Issac time to go potty."

In November when my roommate, Ana, moved back to Costa Rica, I had no one to run the girl's high school youth group with. It was a very difficult time for me because I was the only young single woman living with our community here in Detroit. I felt very lonely, and I had a lot of responsibilities now resting on my shoulders. To make matters worse, it became darker earlier so I had to constantly rely on the guys to walk me home even if it was a block or two as early as 5 PM. My pride and ego didn't like that much. I was frustrated that I had to rely on so many people, and I was frustrated at the sin within the city. It was a hard and challenging time, but God really provided. He used it for His glory in ways that I would have imagined- like transforming Tanesha's life.

I had to find somebody to help lead the youth group with me. They needed to be responsible and trustworthy. Basically I needed somebody to testify for me if somebody tried to sue me, and hopefully somebody who would be able to help disciple my youth group girls. Tanesha made the most sense since she had been around helping with both Bezalel and youth group. My first meeting I did without Ana went really well, but it was kind of funny. I had two older girls who went to Cornerstone school (one of the best schools in Detroit) and two younger girls who were from the hood. God worked amazingly though, and we were able to talk about deeper things relating to faith. Actually the youth groups after Ana left went amazingly well. Sometimes God likes to use less so that He can work more.

During the year, I didn't have many women to be friends with in Detroit and the crazy thing is either did Tanesha. Something that I have found to be a large problem in Detroit is that people don't have friends. They have people who might have their back in a fight, but they really aren't their friends. They have people they can hangout with, but no one they can really talk to. Tanesha had been holding things in for so long that she didn't even really know how to share with me. Slowly she began to open up more and more, and we now have a beautiful friendship.

One of the biggest Glory to God stories from my friendship with Tanesha is how He used me to be a vessel to transform not only her life, but putting her in a position to impact hundreds throughout the city of Detroit. One Saturday afternoon, Tanesha texted me to see what I was doing which she had never done before. I told her that it was Mackery's birthday, and I invited her to come. At the birthday party, she met Paul Propson who runs Covenant Community Clinics. By the end of the conversation, Tanesha got his business card, and an opportunity to apply for an open position at the clinic. A few weeks later, Tanesha had a paid internship at the clinic.

Near the end of the internship, Tanesha was helping setup for an initiative called the EACH mobile medical and dental clinics. EACH (Everyone A Chance to Hear) was a city wide initiative to share the message of Jesus Christ for 40 days after Easter with all of Metro Detroit. Different churches and ministries took part in the initiative in different ways. During the 40 days, the mobile clinics moved around the city serving the physical and spiritual needs of those who couldn't afford medical or dental care.

Tanesha was there each of these days helping and serving at the clinics and before long she was in charge of all the medical teams. She was the one who would lead the meetings and tell people what they needed to do. I was shocked to learn that she was in charge of everything and telling people what to do because she used to be so shy. The best part is that she was serving with EACH voluntarily. The medical clinics aren't running anymore, but in the fall, Tanesha has a paid position running the medical teams at the mobile clinics. I am happy to see how God has provided for Tanesha as she has faithfully served Him.

I am so blessed to have Tanesha as a friend. Even more so, I am blessed to have her as sister. It's fun to sometimes confuse the Bezalel kids when we tell them that we are sisters. It's really funny because besides the fact that she's black-she's also a foot shorter and very thin. We look basically the same! I know that this friendship is going to continue to blossom. It's been great to see Tanesha be more connected with other women who can support her as well. God has so much planned for her. I can't wait to see where God brings her in life.

Tanesha, I love you a lot!