I sit down at 10:50 PM at my computer after a long day working in Detroit. I check facebook and start thinking about my day. Exhaustion slowly starts to sweep over me, yet I know I'm not quite ready for bed yet. As my day swirls in my mind, I know that I will be lighting a candle, listening to funky Christian music and taking sometime to think and journal. I love my late night candle, music, work times. Sometimes it's really lonely though. I am very aware of the fact that I am the only one here and I often think about Kayla, my missionary sister who has very similar late night times as I do on the other side of the world.
After checking facebook, I take out the poems that were written at Bezalel (our after school program) today. I tell myself that I am not going to do any work, but I just want to read over these poems quick. I am stricken by reality and emotion that they put into these poems. I have been hoping for a day in which REALITY would come out in their work. One of our kids really loves animals, and a death of one brings out anger and tears. Bullying is such a reality for most of youth, and they don't know what to do about it. Then you have the boy who wants to remain in his dream land because then he wouldn't have to cry and cry over the death of his brother, yet I can also tell that Jesus is working in his life when he writes about remaining with him forever more. We were preparing writings to be used for spoken word/slam poetry. The kids were so restless today as I was trying to teach them how to write slam poetry, but as soon as I started talking about Jesus being condemned to death- all eyes were on me. Then for some reason, I was given the grace to write my own slam poetry and perform it before them. This month we are preparing a modified stations of the cross represented through different art forms like slam poetry.
The people in this city are so hungry for truth. I would even dare to say in this world, but we will take one city at a time! On Tuesday, I led the AA meeting at the Capuchin Soup Kitchen. I was asked to do it 2 hours before it started. I had led Bible studies before there, but never an AA meeting. I decided to blend the two together. There was one time during the meeting when I was preaching a bit about Psalm 32, and I looked up to see everyone looking and listening to me. Those moments overwhelm and I think "blaha what am i doing!?" I led an AA meeting, and it went really well. I cannot even begin to take the credit for it. I'm not equipped to lead AA meetings, but I have said "yes" to the Lord and He is equipped to do whatever He wants to with me.
Part of my late night thoughts is extreme randomness as I process through my day. So one of the girls I work with isn't going to school right now because her mom doesn't have enough money to put gas in the car. She's NOT going to school because they can't afford to put gas in the car.
Life is so complicated here. I have been told to survive here long term I need to prepare myself as if I am living in a third world country. I can't even begin to list all the times I wondered if I truly was in a third world country. Sometimes my life goes in circles and I wonder if I am accomplishing anything. I went to the library twice yesterday to try to get a movie for youth group. The first time the movie section was randomly closed. The second time was a failure because I wasn't able to get the movie even though they said they had it online. I don't think it was an absolute failure though because I was able to talk with a guy from the Freedom Projects who I hadn't seen in a while. I think it was an anointed meeting which I was very grateful for.
So often on nights like tonight, I think about my life as a missionary. I chuckle that I am in America because I imagine myself listening to music, burning a candle, and journaling in some foreign land. Who knows what that foreign land might be, but for right now it's Detroit. Oh Detroit! I never would have imagined living in this place. It's funny- a week ago today, I was leaving a families house after a very intense time of prayer and driving through downtown Detroit with my windows open (definitely not warm enough) with a Scotsman. I would have never imagined that in my wildest dreams. And yet there I was on Jefferies looking at the skyscrapers passing by, feeling the breeze on my face, and experiencing the Lord's blessings of the life He has given me. It's not easy or always the most attractive, but it truly is a blessed life. As I blow out my candle and crawl into bed, I thank God for stepping into my life and leading me on the adventure of a life time!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
You Give and Take Away
I am incredibly blessed this morning as I wake up with the sun shining through the window remembering the great blessings of waking up this morning. My black brothers and sisters both from Africa and Detroit have taught me a lot about blessedness and be incredibly grateful for the new day God has given us.
This morning, I was also reflecting upon a situation within Youth Works that we have been praying for all year, and I want to now bring to your attention. We no longer have one of our vans we used to use on a regular basis. It has definitely been frustrating to have to use other vehicles that don't work as well. But as I am listening to Tree63's song "Blessed Be Your Name," I realize that God gives and takes away but blessed be His name. No matter what happens- God is worthy to be blessed and praised.
My brothers and sisters, this is not only a blog about God's blessings, but also about being a Christian community. Acts 2.42-27 as well as Acts 4.32-37, it talks about life in a Christian community. They prayed together, broke bread together, and witnessed together. They also had a common life together. Scripture says, "There was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need." These verses strike me because it really shows what it means to be ONE in the body of Christ and to have everything be provided through Christ's body.
Youth Works is in need of a working mini van that will be used for our Bezalel Project. Bezalel Project works with kids in our neighborhood in 2nd-8th grade. Most of the kids are from the housing projects and have very difficult lives. We are blessed with the opportunity to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ by loving these children as well as giving them opportunities to grow academically, artistically, and spiritually. Here's a video of the youth we worked with this summer: http://kairos-media.org/?view/video/FKVfXBVn If you have a van or know someone with a van that they are willing to donate, please contact me at senilles@stthomas.edu
There are many needs in our world, but I believe that God desires to fill these needs if we are only willing to listen to Him. Take some time to pray and see how you are being called to share within the body of Christ. And through all things may we bless the name of the Lord!
Blessed Be Your Name Lyrics:
Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name when I?m found in the
desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back
to praise
And when the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name when the suns shining
down on me
When the worlds ?ll as it should be
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked
with suffering
Though theres pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
This morning, I was also reflecting upon a situation within Youth Works that we have been praying for all year, and I want to now bring to your attention. We no longer have one of our vans we used to use on a regular basis. It has definitely been frustrating to have to use other vehicles that don't work as well. But as I am listening to Tree63's song "Blessed Be Your Name," I realize that God gives and takes away but blessed be His name. No matter what happens- God is worthy to be blessed and praised.
My brothers and sisters, this is not only a blog about God's blessings, but also about being a Christian community. Acts 2.42-27 as well as Acts 4.32-37, it talks about life in a Christian community. They prayed together, broke bread together, and witnessed together. They also had a common life together. Scripture says, "There was no needy person among them, for those who owned property or houses would sell them, bring the proceeds of the sale, and put them at the feet of the apostles, and they were distributed to each according to need." These verses strike me because it really shows what it means to be ONE in the body of Christ and to have everything be provided through Christ's body.
Youth Works is in need of a working mini van that will be used for our Bezalel Project. Bezalel Project works with kids in our neighborhood in 2nd-8th grade. Most of the kids are from the housing projects and have very difficult lives. We are blessed with the opportunity to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ by loving these children as well as giving them opportunities to grow academically, artistically, and spiritually. Here's a video of the youth we worked with this summer: http://kairos-media.org/?view/video/FKVfXBVn If you have a van or know someone with a van that they are willing to donate, please contact me at senilles@stthomas.edu
There are many needs in our world, but I believe that God desires to fill these needs if we are only willing to listen to Him. Take some time to pray and see how you are being called to share within the body of Christ. And through all things may we bless the name of the Lord!
Blessed Be Your Name Lyrics:
Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name when I?m found in the
desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name
Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back
to praise
And when the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name when the suns shining
down on me
When the worlds ?ll as it should be
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name on the road marked
with suffering
Though theres pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
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