Beauty in the Mess

Often in my youth work in Youth Initiatives we speak about getting into the messes of life with young people.  It's often challenging, tricky, and painful and most of the time... messy.  The thing about messes though is we really much prefer to hide our messes.  People don't want others to see the mess of their lives or necessarily be in the messes of others.  Thats why we are often professional "small talkers."  Take enough interest that you care, but not too much because you don't want to get into the mess of other people's lives.  We would hate to intrude or anything.

And whenever anybody is coming over for a dinner or a cup of tea, we are quick to tidy up our house and throw things into our "junk drawer" or that "spare bedroom" in which no one should ever dare to enter unless they are wiling to risk bodily harm from a possible avalanche of random stuff.

Growing up, my dad would always tell me a story about whenever my Uncle David and him were kids no matter what the activity was- my Uncle David would always get dirtier than him.  Even if they were doing the exact same thing. He would of course be telling me this when I was trying to bake cookies and the kitchen was covered with egg, flour, sugar, butter etc...

I'm a bit of a messy person.  I like the sprawl out wherever I am.  I was at a friends house for dinner last night for no more than 2 hours and when it came time to leave, I had to find my coat in one room and a scarf in the other.  Often, my shoes are also in another location of the house.  Being tidy and orderly is not my natural talents.  I love the order of chaos.  I think in some ways thats why I don't mind being in the messes of young people.

My first year of living in Belfast, God taught me the importance of seeing beauty in the midst of chaos/ messes.  I was being prayed with and there was a tornado of "stuff" in my minds eyes distracting me from the prayer time.  I took a deep breath and asked God what it meant.  While all these things were spinning around me, we walked together and in the middle of a pile of stuff there was a little flower- just for me! I realised that don't have to have everything in my life figured out or organised but that God could help me find beauty and order in the middle of the mess if only I remain close to Him.

This has been a great practice in my life that I have tried to strive for- to find beauty in the messes.  Whether this be my life, my desk at work, the city i live in, or the people I share life with, I try to see the beauty (particularly what God sees as beautiful) in the midst of the mess and chaos.  I'm by no means perfect at it, but I am striving for it.  Sometimes when life feels a bit overwhelming and I don't know what to do, I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and God shows me the flowers in the midst of it.  May I never forget to look for the beauty in the messes.

In the midst of a busy week of school retreats, my desk became a "catch all" and bit of a mess.
Yet I smiled each time I worked at it because of the flowers a friend brought me. :) 

My Provisional License

According to Google "provisional" means "arranged or existing for the presen

t, possibly to be changed later."

A couple of weeks ago, I received my UK provisional licenses (learners permit).  I've been dragging my feet about doing this for over a year, but decided that it was finally time!  This spring has brought about a lot of internal change for me, especially in regards to how I view my life in Belfast.  There are too many things on my "maybe one day" to do list and it's time to start checking things off.

Belfast is where God has me for the foreseeable future.  Rather than continually questioning WHY or HOW LONG will I be here- it's time to just live life to the full in the place that God has planted me.  It's a bit of a mind shift, but I am excited for the change in the air.

Last Monday, I had my first driving lesson, and it went really well.  I have loads of studying to do for the theory test in which I will be taking in two weeks.  Yes the rules of the road a bit different from America.  It's time to stop moaning about my 11 years of driving experience and focus more on learning how to drive stick shift (manual) on the other side of the road.

I have a few friends who have studied linguistics and are fascinated with the roots and origins of words.  The root of "provisional" is "provision" or "to provide for."  I think of all the ways God has provided for me my entire life but especially while living in Belfast.  I don't know what my future entails, but I do trust that God will provide for me.  Unlike my provisional licenses- He won't be changing.  So in this world of change I am truly secure and provided for.  It makes trying new things and taking leaps of faith easier.

As much as relearning how to drive feels like taking a step backwards, I really know it's massively move forward in my life in Belfast and the growth God is doing in me.  I hope to not have my provisional licenses long but I am excited for the learning I will do while having it.