For my entire life (including now), I have been dependent upon my parents for so many things in my life. I am incredibly blessed because they have always been there for me to support, love, and care for me. I could always go to them for help with my school project, a problem with a friend, new shoes, gas money, the list can go on. My dad always asks me, "how are you doing financially?" And for the most part I am doing just fine because so many people have provided for me so well. Money has never been an issue for me. I have always been careful with money. When my parents gave me money to go to the mall, I always shopped on the sale racks and would bring the change back. Of course there have been times when I didn't really have money, but I could have gotten it quite easily.
This isn't the case for so many of the people I serve. They struggle. I hear that phrase a lot, and I don't really understand it. Today, I was enlightened just a little bit of what it means to struggle. One guy here in Detroit was talking about how no one in his family has money. He can't just go to his mama and ask for money. Now that he has a job, he is usually giving some money to his mama. Whenever one of his brothers or sisters gets money, they share the little bit of what they have around. In order to get anything he wants, he has to earn it. And it's not even that simple. If you don't have a car, it's hard to get to your job or school. Other times, you are dealt a bad hand of cards and something get stolen or someone screws you over.
This was talking to me about how he has support from different ministries, but it doesn't really care for his physical needs. He still needs money to pay his bills, for gas, food, incidentals, ect. He talked about the times in which he would sell weed or gamble in order to make a living. He said that people think so poorly about drug dealers, and sometimes it just starts with somebody in a desperate situation needing to feed their family. Not all drug dealers are like this. Some are in it for the fancy things, but many of them start off just needing some extra cash. I encountered the same thing in Sierra Leone. Women would go into prostitution in order to feed their children. Yes, it's a horrible thing. It's wrong. They shouldn't be doing it, but what else should they do?
You have heard the quote, "Give a man to fish and he will eat today. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime." Somebody once said that it isn't good enough to teach a man to fish, but to also know where the fish are coming from. As I continue to live, love, and learn, I've realized knowing where the fish come from is so important. We can't just tell people to change or to stop doing what they are doing. We need to learn WHY they are doing what they are doing. Then we can deal with the root issue. But it's easier to prune a tree rather than uproot it completely. It's a lot of work to uproot a tree. It's not just this one tree. There is a forest of trees with their roots SO intertwined. We have to learn about the trees, learn about the soil, uproot, untie, and plant again. It gives a new meaning to a new creation.
People sometimes ask what I am doing here in Detroit. I play in the dirt. God gives me water, tools, fertilizer, shovels, hoes, light, ect. and I use it. I haven't uprooted any trees yet, but I have been apart of learning a lot about the trees, soil, and I have even untied a few roots. It's a messy job, but I am grateful to be a part of it because I know one day the fruit is going to be beautiful and delicious.
For some reason, I have never had to struggle for the basic necessities like so many of those around me. In Minneapolis, there is a ministry called Source who works with at risk and alienated youth. The director and I were once talking about how our society says at the age of 18 you are an adult, but he asked me how many 18 year old I knew who were not still depending at least partially on their parents. I couldn't think of many. I am so blessed by the ways in which my parents have cared and provided for me. I know that I wouldn't be able to do this work without them. At the same time, I realize that not everyone is blessed in the same way that I am. I try to understand their situations and not be as quick to judge. Most of the time we only see a small bit of the whole picture. Life is not as simple as we often make it up to be. We live in a world intertwined with so many others. Let us be gentle with one another and allow God to tend His garden with grace and mercy.
